Made this while my wife cleaned the toilet. As she pointed out, this will last forever, and the toilet will get dirty again. 

Johnny Hitsthespot - the real British Rapper from Leeds, and not a fake one who is a character done by me. Why would I do that, anyway? His song from 2007, ‘Johnny’s Revenge.’

‘Blackout’ from 2008 when I made music. The ‘band’ the Atom Spies - for years before and after this recording was made and into the present day and beyond, at least - consisted of me and myself, recording in my apartment. Now I have a house, but don’t record. The album this song was featured on was called ‘Chordata.’ It still is called that, actually.

Because people often don’t get what ‘recorded by myself’ means, I will elucidate - I wrote the song, played the guitar, and all the synth tracks. This means that the sound consist only of me, and wouldn’t have existed unless I thought of and then executed it. I know that sounds cheeky, but now at least I won’t have to explain.

This song, played backwards OR forwards, will erase your hard drive and delete your soul.

‘Deathkill’ by the Hetero Sapiens, a band I made up completely to make silly songs. They have one album, ‘Devil’s Remnants.’

“Sometimes, the places we go when we look for comfort can catch fire, and the things we turn to when we most desperately need love can grow teeth… or beaks - and cut us when we are least able to take it.”

‘Out the Door’ is almost out the door, in the middle of sporadic re-writes.

‘Formland’ is over 41k words, 57 manuscript pages, and currently gaining even more momentum. Will be done with first draft by end of March.

Upcoming book ideas - there are two - will get fed into the workload at that time.

Ahhh, pretending anybody cares - ‘priceless.’

A pic taken by Lianne and sent to me to prove I was good enough for the Kirk bookmark. That was a huge honor!

I also use this picture as my Rock Band 3 avatar. Thanks Lianne!

“Hey seven-hundred and twenty people I’m friends with. I’m just going to act like I’m talking directly to the person I hate the most, to say the things I don’t have the guts to say to that one person’s face. Surely rubbing my own bad mood onto tons of other, unrelated people is the best way to deal with my problems! There, now YOU’RE all in a great mood and I look SANE!”

‘Full Not Lit Up - Absence of Celebrities’

The most obscure Stephen King pun in history.

http://www.switched.com/2008/11/14/why-you-should-never-try-to-steal-a-law-students-laptop/ Dude tried to steal a lawyers laptop, and obviously didn’t understand the value of the laptop’s files to the lawyer. Same goes for authors.

‘Brilliant Story’ from ‘A Sudden Outburst of Cosmic Duck’ by Troy Blackford tells the story of just such a heist. It can be had FOR FREE http://bit.ly/97iAj4

“You Can Kill Me Now” by the Hetero Sapiens.

Why don’t I go eat? I just need to get up and go to the kitchen. I’m so freakin’ hungry… and have been for quite some time. I am a failure. Even now I evade my own goals, out of sheer sloth. 

‘Take the Beating and Run’ by the fake Hetero Sapiens.